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| yep... still too lazy to update regularly, met a girl who I really really like, but she keeps putting me off. We'll see what happens...
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| I got the job offer in NY. Now the big decision needs to be made. I think the more "sensible" choice is to go to Cleveland. But the more fun choice is to go to New York. I'm leaning towards going to NY, but we'll see what happens. I'm still wrestling with the decision.
I'm watching the SC game. Our defense looks like crap but our offense is just unstoppable. I love SC football.
So I've been in California all weekend. I spent two nights with Nirav. We had a great time: we watched a ton of movies (Brazil, Army of Darkness, and Napoleon Dynamite). The we went out on Thursday night to a grad student party for USC and UCLA students. Oh my god, I can't believe how ugly people are in DC. Almost every girl at the club would have been one as hot as the hottest girls I've seen in DC. I love when my girl standards get reset when I come home. I digress, the party was fun just because I got to see a ton of people i hadn't seen in years. I saw a bunch of old residents and some old friends who are all now in grad school. It's weird to think that next year, i'm going to be done with grad school.
After that I've been home for the last two days. It's weird though, i know this is the last time i am going to be at home. In fact, i just met the people who are going to be living here in about 2.5 weeks. It's amazing how much crap you accumulate in your room over the years. I just found some stuff from Boys State in High School. It actually confirmed my suspicion that I had met Dane at Boys state way back then. I was pretty excited to see that old stuff and then throw it away. My parents are so hesitant to throw anything away, and they seem to be in some degree of denial about their impending move. The consequence is that they are super stressed out and are just not all that fun to be around. But I guess it's hard for them. Imagine having to give up pretty much everything you've owned over the last 40 years and you can only keep what's in a couple suitcases and what your kids are willing to keep at their houses. The scary part is, that a lot of the stuff they've owned for 40 years. I wonder if i'm going to end up like that and keep all sorts of junk over the years. As soon as i get back to DC i think i'm throwing some stuff out =).
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| This was a very tiring weekend. Thursday night - bar review at Bossa. Bossa was really cool, i enjoyed the live music and the reggae later on in the night. Afterwards we ended up at Tom Tom's. Then a failed attempt to stay out ended me up at home around 3.
Friday night - dinner at naela with friends. I'd never been there before, that ended up being a lot of fun. After that we went to some fu-fu place called Chloe. The girls liked it, us guys - not so much. The dj was good, but it just wasn't my scene. Afterwards we went to Dan's Cafe, a really old-school dive bar. Matt and Bo proceeded to get wasted and as we were closing out the bar around 2:30 we had the bright idea of going to Atlantic City. So around 6:30 we roll into Atlantic City. We slept in the parking lot for a couple hours and then woke up and got some breakfast. After breakfast we gambled for an hour or so. Then we went out to the boardwalk. For some reason, we decided it would be a good idea to eat lunch at a strip club, so we started asking people where there was a strip club where we could get lunch at. AC did not offer this. We were pretty disappointed.
Even the Preaching bible thumper didn't know. This was possibly the funniest part of the weekend. Bo walks up to one of those sidewalk preacher guys and asks him if he knows of any strip clubs where they serve lunch. The guy didn't appreciate the question. Bo responded with, well you are local so we thought you might know. The guy said something about how that is bad. Bo responded with "It's celebrating God's creation." The guy started getting a little mad and started yelling at Bo. He clearly wasn't turning his other cheek. As Bo started walking away he started yelling really louldy "God doesn't approve of strip joints!" We were on a fairly crowded boardwalk and all these people were staring at the guy and these old ladies just started cracking up. It was great. Plus the three of us were still in our same clothes and we had all purchased pairs of 99 cent 80's sunglasses which we were definitely rocking all day on the boardwalk. Finally we got home to DC around 7:30 pm.
Saturday night i went to a house party with Umair in Cleveland Park. It was a bunch of Jewish hill staffers and then me and Umair (Umair does work on the hill though). There we saw 6 guys try picking up a 300 pound woman and stuff her into the backseat of a honda accord. She had passed out and it was quite a spectacle watching them try to pick her up, she was a big girl. The best part is that she woke up right after they managed to get her in the car (that took at least 30 mins). Afterwards we went on a quest for food where Umair asked some girls who definitely didn't look 21 "is the prom committee meeting tuesday or wednesday?" The didn't take kindly to this question and we had a fun little shouting match in the mcdonalds. However, we eventually talked them into eating with us where after fifteen minutes we realized we actually knew one of the girls. I finally made it home around 4am.
Sunday night (tonight) Bo and I went to a BB King concert. Yes, BB King. It was awesome. I'm so glad i went to this, i passed up an idlewild concert and a dj z-trip concert to go to this. The man is almost 80 years old and can still jam. He played a U2 song which the audience sang along with and some other fun songs. He also talked a lot about "supper." It was funny. The best song those was when he played "you are my sunshine." That brought back some fond memories. Overall I had a good time. So now, i'm packing for my interview in NY so i better get going. I have five hours of sleep to get.
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| My self-reflective move continues, but I'm starting to get busy with school stuff again so maybe I'll snap out of it.
I can't believe that I have an actual client right now, I'm doing a legal clinic at school and I'm someone's attorney. It's a weird feeling. If i mess up, there is a chance my client could end up in jail.
Next week I'll be in NY interviewing with the lawyers from my firm from this summer. There is a very strong chance i'll be working there next year. I also have an interview later in the week with a firm in Riverside. If i manage to get into their San Diego office, then i'll go there. If neither of these pan out, it looks like i'll be in Cleveland. Actually, even if these pan out, I might still choose to go to Cleveland. I had a great summer and the pay is impossible to beat. I don't know, i'm sure i'll be agonizing over this for the next few weeks so no reason to waste more time now.
My parents have finally entered the last stage of closing the deal on their house. So they will probably be moved out of the house by the end of the month. After that, they are planning on going to Pakistan but they aren't sure exactly when. This too is a little disconcerting, my sister and I were talking, what do we do when thanksgiving and christmas roll around? i guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
I love sitting around and doing nothing with my friends. That's all i want right now, is to surround myself with people who i can just do nothing with.
allright, time to sleep, my to do list is finally down to about 20 items. Also, if you're in your 20s read the book that i'm currently reading, its hilarious. | | |
| Letting go of things
that are familiar to you is always hard to do. I don't think that
it is ever going to get any easier. I know a whopping 2 people
(maybe 3) actually get and read this journal thing but i'm going to
post my thoughts on it anyway.
Lots of stuff is changing in my life right now, and when it rains it
pours (i'm just full of cliches). I knew this was coming for a
while now but i think last night it just really struck a cord. I
was at bar review and just standing there taking it in, and everything
felt so temporary (yes that is stolen from gross pointe blank).
It was just surreal, I started talking with Mark and I asked him if he
was feeling the same way and he agreed. Maybe it was the
incessantly loud music but he described the feeling as "I fell like i'm
on a ton of drugs." Of course he wasn't and I think both of us,
and probably most of my law school friends, are going through the same
kind of feeling right now. In one year, all of what i'm seeing
and what i've relied on for the past 2 years is all going to be reset
again. And yes, you can hang on to some of the past, but
realistically its hard. People get busy, get married, and just
choose not to invest as much time in to something from the past.
I think a big part of me is scared of being lonely, I've been single
for almost a year now and i've liked it. I've felt lonely, i've
dated people, i've had fun and in the end i wouldn't trade it for
anything. It's not that lonely because i don't have a
g/f, i'm more afraid of feeling lonely because of my friends. I
was talking to another friend today and she said that she has never
really felt like any of her friends hold her to be their closest friend
(i.e. she's never really had a true best friend that's lasted).
When she said this, it struck a cord. I don't think
i've really had someone who I consider my self closest too and they
consider me the closest person in their life. I'm not really sure
if it is possible with anyone outside of your spouse, i mean at the
point where people get married that is supposed to be the person you
share the most with and you will always be closest too. I'm not
saying when you get married you abandon you're friends, but what I am
saying is that there will eventually be a gap b/w you and your closest
friends because they will no longer be the most important person in
your life. Maybe i'm wrong, i actually hope i am. At a
minimum i hope i eventually find someone who can be that closest person.
Reflecting on my thoughts, I realize how much of this sounds like i'm
growing up and i'm experiencing life. I don't think there is a clear cut answer or
a one-size fits all type answer. Its just something i have to
learn and decide for myself.
but damnit, i hate the feeling that i'm closing doors. I've
always made decisions with the intent of keeping as many doors open as
i can. but i'm realizing, those aren't always the best
decisions. a person can only go through one door at a time, so
why do i always choose to have the most options? instead, why
can't i just pick a door to go through and not look back? why
can't i just make a decision to go through the door that will benefit
me most, not keep the most other doors open?
This post definitely has a sappy feel to it, and i'm not looking for
any empathy here, i'm just merely reflecting on what's been going on
lately. My sister always told me that you have know idea how much
you are going to change in your 20s, I thought i knew who i was and i
knew everything i liked and disliked. I'm finding out that so
far, I actually do know myself pretty well, a lot of things about me
haven't changed. But by the same token some things have
changed. It's not the way i dress, the things i do when i go out,
the food i like, no that's the part that hasn't really changed.
what has changed is the way i approach a decision and the way that i
value people in my life. for better or worse, i'm changing and
i'm scared. and i'm comfortable admitting i'm scared, i just hope
that i can stick to my decisions and not worry about keeping all the
doors open and instead focus on the door i'm walking through for the
value it has now.
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